Life...

Julia sent me these and I was laughing out loud.  Partly because they are funny, and partly because they are so true...:)
Love you guys!
 
Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.
 
Life is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.
 
There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.
 
You know, it's a long world.
 
Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.
 
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few
pits in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
 
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.  ~Will Rogers
 
No one is listening until you fart.  ~Author Unknown
 
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.  ~Aldous Huxley
 
He's turned his life around.  He used to be depressed and miserable.
Now he's miserable and depressed.  ~Harry Kalas, on Garry Maddox, 1981
 
Love your enemies.  It makes them so dang mad.  ~P.D. East
 
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family.  ~Jerry Seinfeld
 
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a
football.  ~Author Unknown
 
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.  ~Author Unknown
 
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have
their shoes.  ~Author Unknown
 
Duct tape is like the force.  It has a light side, a dark side, and it
holds the universe together.  ~Carl Zwanzig
 
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people
die of natural causes.  ~Author Unknown
 
You can't have everything... where would you put it?  ~Steven Wright
 
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody.  Now I see that I should
have been more specific.  ~Jane Wagner, The Search For Intelligent
Life In The Universe, performed by Lily Tomlin
 

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